he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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