he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
