I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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