Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
