Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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