Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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