That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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