A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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