after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
