I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
