loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
