Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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