if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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