a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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