There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
