Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
