and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize