What a fucking waste of an outfit
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
