We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
