I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
