He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
