Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
