I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
