Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
