high people should be assigned attendants
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
