Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
