Whod you bang
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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