This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
