I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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