cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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