I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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