You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
