my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
