i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
