i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes