Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
