Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gross. gingers suck

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  (313): Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you (248): Gross. gingers suck http://tfl.nu/yt8q
  Replies (18) Good night (933) Bad night (1655)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

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  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (610) Bad night (2261)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.

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  (517): let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it. http://tfl.nu/9qiv
  Replies (2) Good night (2602) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?

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  (850): Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller? http://tfl.nu/lnof
  Replies (34) Good night (1224) Bad night (4685) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (952) Bad night (5543)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.

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  (816): Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/qpk7
  Replies (28) Good night (710) Bad night (3908) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11291) Bad night (2364) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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  (303): im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre http://tfl.nu/07ct
  Replies (10) Good night (1847) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.

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  (304): Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer. http://tfl.nu/4dxu
  Replies (6) Good night (2082) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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  (336): I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done. http://tfl.nu/4ilz
  Replies (12) Good night (900) Bad night (2934) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello

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  (817): Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello http://tfl.nu/5ss8
  Replies (10) Good night (1228) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (431)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.

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  (330): When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table. http://tfl.nu/dlsi
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (486)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (326)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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  (320): I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice. http://tfl.nu/yhhi
  Replies (6) Good night (1129) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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