Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.