i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.