Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
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You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.