What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
