While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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