I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
