What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
