so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
