Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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