the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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