I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
