i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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