Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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