I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
