Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
