Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize