The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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