I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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