Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So vagazzling was a success
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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