Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
