Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
