Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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