Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
