just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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