i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize