I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
