I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
