I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
