nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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