and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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