There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
