she smelled like a LAN party
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
