is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
