Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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