all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize