The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
