it wasn't lemon gatorade
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
